About a year or two ago, Kirkland prayed with her father and I and accepted Jesus as her Savior. Eventually, she worked up enough courage and walked to the front of CrossPoint Baptis Church to make a profession of faith, and be baptized. Well, Crosspoint doesn't have conventionaly facilites and before they could get her baptized we changed churches. So, fast forward to April this year, and we joined Calvary Baptist as a family, and Kirkland said she was ready to be baptized. So these are the pictures of my sweetie on the day of her baptism with Bro. Grant Arinder. We were so proud!!! She was so big!!! My mom and my grandmother were there as well. What a grand moment in our lives.
So, I'll use this little blog about Kirkland.... there's so much to say I could probably write a novel. Many of you know Kirk, but you don't know her like we do. Some of the things I may tell you about Kirkland may sound negative, but really they aren't. They are truth. It is a truth that we as a family are learning to not over look or think we can "fix" but a truth we are learning to accept. Acceptance is not defeat, just the process of realizing there is a problem and dealing with it as it comes.
Kirkland Carol Durr was the first child born to William and I. She is named after our mothers. She was due July 15, 1997 and born July 24, 1997. I tell you that because it is significant. From her due date (and honestly, before) Kirkland grew and grew. By the time she was born she weighed in at 8 lbs. 15 oz. (the nurse said she peed right before they weighed her or she would've been 9!) When I had Kirkland, she was too big. I've been told by more than one dr. since then that Kirkland should've been a c-section. She was way too high up when I went into labor, it was my first baby, and she had a really big head/shoulders. But nope, the doctors there made the bad call to try to push her on through. I had no pain medicine with Kirkland. They told me there was not time. Things were so critical I didn't even get a local anesthetic shot to block anything as I delivered as most women do. Kirkland's shoulders got stuck, and the cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times. I remember there were like ten people in the room with us... most of them holding my legs ..... they were desperate to get her out.
Well, out the poor thing finally came after doing unspeakable amounts of damage to me and the one thing I remember saying as soon as she was born was "Thank God!" the next thing I remembered was there was no crying. That brought me in focus. William had not even been able to cut the cord because the dr had been so frantically trying to get the cord off my little purple baby. Finally she cried!!! I held her for just a minute and then she was taken straight to the nursery where she spent the rest of her first day in an incubator receiving oxygen.
Well, Kirkland always was very slow to do anything!!! She was 16 months old when she walked. She was pushing 4 before she was making complete sentences . At age 3, lo and behold, we brought her home a sister. Well that didn't go over well!!! Kirkland was the first grandchild on my side of the family and my first baby so she was extremely doted on. Emily the charmer came along and took some of her thunder!!!!! So some problems began to become more obvious to us, but we attributed so much of it to Emily coming along.
When Kirk had just turned 5, she started Kindergarten just like everyone else. We knew by Christmas she would have to repeat it. Her teacher said she was just a little immature, and we took her word for it. She repeated Kindergarten and did better. Then when she started first grade, some other problems really starting showing up. Kirkland wasn't getting school. There were somethings it just seemed like she couldn't learn. And then came the vomitting. Kirkland began throwing up every single day before school. This was about the same time we'd had Jay, so we thought she was faking it because she was leaving for school and Emily and Jay were staying home with us. But she was really throwing up. Everyday. The doctor thought she just had stomach ulcers or acid problems and put her on tagamet. Well, it didn't help. We finally had a doctor decide to allergy test her and found that Kirk was highly allergic to beef, eggs, dairy, corn, and whey. About this same time, Kirkland woke up one morning with her ankles as big as oranges. After going to doctor after doctor, from nephrologists for her kidneys (where we found out she only has one!) to her regular doctor, we finally wound up with Dr. Ray in Jackson at UMC where Kirkland was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA). We've been through tons of medicine with Kirkland trying to get it under control. Dr. Ray says every joint in Kirkland's body is affected by her JRA. At one point, she was taking 7 pills a night, including a pill form of chemotherapy. We finally now have her on a once weekly injection of Embrel, and it is really helping. She still has flare ups, and still has pain and swelling, but it's helping to control the deterioration in her joints and is helping the flareups become less frequent.
This is a pic on a flare up day. I'm sorry the blog is doing the underlining thing again, and sorry this is so long. When Kirk was in 3rd grade we move d her to the Christian School here in town. While they were so sweet and we love that school and the people there, we moved Kirk back to the public school for 4th grade. We needed the programs for her we could get through the public school. You see, Kirk 's brain just isn't operating quick enough to keep up. We had her evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychothereapist or something because Dr. Ski thought possibly she had Cerebal Palsy. But upon evaluation, the doctor determined that she didn't. She just has learning disabilities, anxiety disorder, and a very low IQ. Mentally, it's estimated in some ways Kirkland is about 5 years behind where she should be. It has been SO tough for us to come to grips with this , and in a lot of ways I still don't think we have. We are working through the school system to get all the help we can with Kirkland to help her achieve at the fullest of her potential. But there are some things we just don't know how to fix, how to explain, how to handle. Emily is really passing Kirkland in so many ways. Kirkland doesn't understand why Emily has friends she visits, spends the night with, goes to parties, etc. Kirkland doesn't have much in common with girls her age. While they ask for ipods and cellphones , etc...... Kirk asks for baby doll s and dollhouses. She is starting to have problems with anger/frustration issues and I honestly think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she is so frustrated that she understands there is something wrong and she just doesn't know how to fix it. There are times I'm actually thankful that Kirk is still innocent in so many ways. But it also makes it difficult when she hears things at school , etc, and I have to try to explain things to Kirkland who is just not ready for it emotionally!!!! And the child has no "filter" on her thoughts and what she says. She just says whatever she is thinking about whether or not it's appropriate or not!!!! Wanna talk about finding myself in some awkward situations??? :)
But overall, Kirkland is one of the sweetest children you will ever meet. She is so loving and so eager to please. She also made it into VIVA art this year!! While her attention span is pretty short, she's a very good artist when she wants to be. She says when she grows up she wants to be an artist like me ( aw!) or a chef... but I really think she means baker or pastry chef.... she wants to make cakes, cookies, pies, etc. I think she'd be wonderful at it!!! We love our sweet oldest girl so much.
Ok, I'm really sorry this has been so long, with Kirk there's a lot to tell! And I hope you don't take it the wrong way. I have enough people telling me that we just need to "try harder", and that Kirk just "wants to be that way." We are coming to grips with the hurdles ahead and learning the best way to do things. Also wanted some of you, who don't really know Kirk, to know a little about her. Also, knowing Kirkland's and our struggles, you can lift up a prayer occassionally for us. So, next one will be about Steven I think.... if you don't already know our news, then I guess you should tune in in next week or so!!!! :)
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